Friday, April 29, 2011

Very short update

Things started to fall apart during my last week in Utah. By things, I mean me. We had some very very good news: My father continues to do amazingly well. It became clear during my last week in Utah that my father will continue to thrive, but that also meant that things had to change. So, we set in motion the grinding work of moving both of my parents to Missouri.

That work begins with convincing the parents that they need to do this. That was long, that was ugly, and after I got home from Utah, I slept for the first week. This has been my second week home, and I still feel tender, like someone has been holding me by the hair on my head, and my roots are aching. I don't feel like I can really put myself back into this ponytail.

And yet. I also found my parents a place to live, and so tonight, I board the train once more for Utah. My mother is moving out of the nursing home tomorrow. Matt is in Utah now. I am going there to help him navigate both parents as well as to haul ass, pack, and get this move on the road.
A few things make this harder and easier:

  1. One of my best friends, John, is moving to Minnesota on Monday. We have said our last goodbyes. I get to spend the next two hours before the train leaves trying not to fall apart again.
  2. I have to miss Dereck's birth, which sucks.
  3. I don't feel like I've had enough recovery time to already be heading back.
  4. This is the last push. The sooner I do this, the sooner I get to come back and stay.
  5. Since my last writing, you would NOT believe how lucid Pat has become. And pleasant. And we can actually talk on the phone for long periods, and we do not talk about her pain. She mentions it in passing some, but I've actually talked to her a couple of times without her mentioning it all. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
I have booked three plane tickets back to Missouri for Wednesday, May 11.

Wish us luck.


  1. Best wishes for a safe and peaceful journey. You are an amazing daughter - they may not be able to express it but I'm sure your parents are proud of your strength and determination.

  2. Oh, God/dess bless you, Jen, and good luck during this stage of your journey.

  3. Jen, this is fantastic news in spite of everything you still are going to have slog through! I'm so happy to hear it. I know it's going to be tough, but I also know you're one of the TOUGHEST-ASSED OLD BIDDIES I've ever met in my life. So I know you can make it happen. And you'll be glad you did - once you have a chance to come up for air. Much love, Brian

  4. Love you, Jen! You are amazing. Glad to hear that your mother is improving and your father continues to thrive. Things will still be hard, but you'll have all of your family around you again. Colin & I keep meaning to make it up to the 'ville - maybe you and I can go get coffee (or a drink) somewhere while he and Alan talk politics for the 900th time.

  5. Jen, very poignant, thank you. After two years of daily crisis and continuous driving over the mountains to rescue the folks from yet another disaster, I moved them over to Denver with me, to an assisted living home. They fought me on this and I had to go to court to get guardianship, which I did. Two years later, I moved them back when we moved to the western slope, and by this time they needed nursing home care. Now, with both gone, I don't for a moment regret the way I cared for them, and did not lose my own life's joy in the process. You are doing the right thing!

  6. You can do it. Good Luck. Hope that all goes as well as possible. May Santa Claus live forever.