I should have been writing about this all along on our journey.
One of the ways we figure out what we want or need, obviously, is to learn what we don't want or need or like.
Darren grew up in the evangelical world, so he was more comfortable in it than I was. I didn't like the worship music. I applaud singing as a form of worship, but singing about how God is a "good dad" just offended me. I also didn't like seeing preachers with their arms outstretched telling God how "You are so worthy of being praised." That offended me too. Because it seems patronizing-- you don't get to tell God He's worthy because that suggests that you could possibly tell Him He were unworthy.
Another thing I don't like about evangelical services is people raising their arms in the air during the cheesy worship music. It just smacks of effort-- like they're trying too hard. But maybe I've just never felt like raising my arms in the air to music. I just think it's... copying others who are doing it? I think to some degree it's encouraged by pastors-- I've heard people talk about that. But that also suggests manufacturing some kind of sentimental feeling that people get addicted to rather than genuine spirituality.
Maybe that's what some people need, but I didn't find it very satisfying.
I'm not trying to be critical of other forms of worship so much as to detail my own journey and what I've learned, and what has led me to Orthodoxy. I feel bad because I feel like I've been negative: "I don't like, I didn't like." But that's the truth of it.
I am not completely comfortable, however, with making a laundry list of things I don't like about other traditions and faiths. Maybe it's better instead to focus on what I wanted, what I need, which I think I've touched upon in other posts.
It's so frustrating, because now that I feel like I have completed my my journey to Orthodoxy, I find that I'm not really as interested in recounting it. It seemed incredibly frustrating at the time, but I think that's always the case when you're trying to find something, and you're looking in the wrong places. You try to be open-minded and give things a fair shot, but I think in the past year and a half, I was just going through the motions because I knew my heart was in Orthodoxy. So, I didn't really give anything else a fair shake.
I tried to like the Episcopal church. I really did. I loved the people. I really liked the priest. The theology wasn't offensive. But the corollary to being inoffensive is that it also didn't really inspire anything. The liturgy left me cold. I received the Eucharist there every week, but I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling, and I didn't really feel anything. They say that it's Christ who invites you to the table and Christ who meets you there, but I didn't really get that, and I still don't.
I don't know how I'll feel about receiving the Eucharist at the Orthodox church either. But I know that the fact that I can't receive it until I am baptized changes it a little bit. But having grown up in the Mormon faith with the sacrament being water and wonder bread means that I don't have a particularly special relationship with the Eucharist. But I don't think that the Lord's Supper should be left in the hands of the teenagers of the Mormon church who prepare it, pray over it, and dispense it.
In Evangelical churches, it's often torn bread and grape juice. Same thing. It's not very wondrous or holy or special.
The Orthodox view the Eucharist as a mystery, and in addition to being baptized, you prepare yourself to receive the body of Christ in other ways. Confession, prayer, fasting. They believe that it can be sincerely detrimental to you if you receive it when you have not prepared yourself.
It's hard to write about spiritual things sometimes because I realize that some things sound superstitious. I have enough education and cynicism to anticipate the arguments of potential readers, and it's something that I feel strongly enough about privately that I don't really want to invite commentary or argument about it. It's hard to write about, and I'm not used to that experience.
One of the ways we figure out what we want or need, obviously, is to learn what we don't want or need or like.
Darren grew up in the evangelical world, so he was more comfortable in it than I was. I didn't like the worship music. I applaud singing as a form of worship, but singing about how God is a "good dad" just offended me. I also didn't like seeing preachers with their arms outstretched telling God how "You are so worthy of being praised." That offended me too. Because it seems patronizing-- you don't get to tell God He's worthy because that suggests that you could possibly tell Him He were unworthy.
Another thing I don't like about evangelical services is people raising their arms in the air during the cheesy worship music. It just smacks of effort-- like they're trying too hard. But maybe I've just never felt like raising my arms in the air to music. I just think it's... copying others who are doing it? I think to some degree it's encouraged by pastors-- I've heard people talk about that. But that also suggests manufacturing some kind of sentimental feeling that people get addicted to rather than genuine spirituality.
Maybe that's what some people need, but I didn't find it very satisfying.
I'm not trying to be critical of other forms of worship so much as to detail my own journey and what I've learned, and what has led me to Orthodoxy. I feel bad because I feel like I've been negative: "I don't like, I didn't like." But that's the truth of it.
I am not completely comfortable, however, with making a laundry list of things I don't like about other traditions and faiths. Maybe it's better instead to focus on what I wanted, what I need, which I think I've touched upon in other posts.
It's so frustrating, because now that I feel like I have completed my my journey to Orthodoxy, I find that I'm not really as interested in recounting it. It seemed incredibly frustrating at the time, but I think that's always the case when you're trying to find something, and you're looking in the wrong places. You try to be open-minded and give things a fair shot, but I think in the past year and a half, I was just going through the motions because I knew my heart was in Orthodoxy. So, I didn't really give anything else a fair shake.
I tried to like the Episcopal church. I really did. I loved the people. I really liked the priest. The theology wasn't offensive. But the corollary to being inoffensive is that it also didn't really inspire anything. The liturgy left me cold. I received the Eucharist there every week, but I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling, and I didn't really feel anything. They say that it's Christ who invites you to the table and Christ who meets you there, but I didn't really get that, and I still don't.
I don't know how I'll feel about receiving the Eucharist at the Orthodox church either. But I know that the fact that I can't receive it until I am baptized changes it a little bit. But having grown up in the Mormon faith with the sacrament being water and wonder bread means that I don't have a particularly special relationship with the Eucharist. But I don't think that the Lord's Supper should be left in the hands of the teenagers of the Mormon church who prepare it, pray over it, and dispense it.
In Evangelical churches, it's often torn bread and grape juice. Same thing. It's not very wondrous or holy or special.
The Orthodox view the Eucharist as a mystery, and in addition to being baptized, you prepare yourself to receive the body of Christ in other ways. Confession, prayer, fasting. They believe that it can be sincerely detrimental to you if you receive it when you have not prepared yourself.
It's hard to write about spiritual things sometimes because I realize that some things sound superstitious. I have enough education and cynicism to anticipate the arguments of potential readers, and it's something that I feel strongly enough about privately that I don't really want to invite commentary or argument about it. It's hard to write about, and I'm not used to that experience.
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