Returning to Orthodoxy

10/2/19

It’s funny because I took this list home and read it out loud to Darren last week, and we kind of chuckled over it. We were like, “Really? This seemed like a huge deal? This was insurmountable?” Because I wouldn’t say that any of these things are problems for either of us now.

One thing that is very different this time from all of the others is that Darren is really leading the charge on this. All of his hesitation is gone. He keeps saying, “I would be baptized tomorrow.” His plan is for us to be baptized at Pascha (Easter, which is a week later than Easter in the West).

Yesterday morning, he led prayers in front of the Icons. We are easing our way into Orthodox practice this time. We say prayers in bed or the car sometimes. Though, when I was at church for the first time after going back, during liturgy, I realized why we pray in front of the icons at home. Because we stand and pray in front of icons at church. In fact, there are icons in front of us and painted on the walls all around us, and there is a huge one of Christ on the ceiling. We are surrounded by saints. And I think it’s important to note that worship services on earth—Vespers, orthos (the prayers said the hour before liturgy), liturgy, etc., are all continuations of the worship that is continually happening in heaven.

We (by we I mean “Orthodox”—Darren and I can’t yet receive it because we are catechumen, not baptized Orthodox) receive the Eucharist every week because every week, we celebrate Easter again and again. Every liturgy is a celebration of the Risen Christ, and we remember him as He commanded, with the Eucharist.

The warm reception we have received from everyone has been very moving. We were standing at Vespers and Father Paul came up behind us and we just felt his arms around us as he hugged us. And he just said, “How are you? It’s so good to see you. Are you well?”

And then on Sunday at liturgy, a woman came up to me and said, “Jen, how are you? It’s so good to see you!” I was sitting on a bench, and she said, “How is Darren?” and I pointed to him standing behind her and said, “He’s right there.” And she hugged him too. Then her husband came over and hugged us both.

During the liturgy, there is a special blessing for the Catechumen. Becoming Catechumen is akin to being engaged to the Church. So, we didn’t know if, after so long an absence, we were still considered Catechumen. We didn’t go up at first when they made the call. And the husband clasped Darren on the shoulder and said, “Go up!”

Darren said, “We can’t!”

And the husband said, “Yes you can. Constantinople was Catechumen until he was on his death bed. Once you are Catechumen, you remain until you die or are baptized.” I am paraphrasing. But we went up with the other Catechumen and received the blessing.

After liturgy, we were downstairs for the Agape meal, and Father Paul said that when we came up for the blessing, he almost didn’t get through saying it. But then he told himself (and this is a frequent joke he makes), “It’s okay. You’re German. You can do this.”

Last Sunday, Darren was following Father Paul into the bookstore and into his office, getting lists of books to read, and he mentioned that we would like to be baptized at Pascha, and Father Paul didn’t seem to think that was a problem. Some people have even hinted that Father Justin might let us be baptized before then, because sometimes they have such a huge crush of people getting baptized at Pascha that it makes for a very long ceremony.

Father Justin is in Greece with his two oldest sons. They went to Mt. Athos, home of a very old Orthodox monastery. Apparently, the Virgin Mary visited there, and afterwards, they decided never to let another woman visit the island, because none would be as holy as Virgin Mary. But that doesn’t explain why they let men go there. I admit that I would love to go there, but I am not allowed. Given that I would probably not be able to afford the trip, though, it’s hard to get too bent out of shape about it.

Women are also not allowed back in the area where the priests prepare the Eucharist and say hundreds of prayers before Orthos has even started. Women are not allowed to be priests or Deacons either. And I know it’s not very progressive or feminist of me, but I am okay with all of this. To tell you the truth, I was never completely comfortable with female priests in the Episcopal Church. I know that isn’t a very popular position to have, but it’s the truth. I know that there are different interpretations of scripture, but that’s kind of the point, right? Anyone can interpret the scriptures to mean whatever they want. And I am making a choice to interpret them through the lens of Orthodoxy.

The Episcopalians make jokes about “chilly Episcopalians,” but we haven’t really experienced that. But even after attending the church on and off for over a year, people still asked us if we were new. We walked back into the Orthodox Church, and only people who hadn’t been there a year and a half ago think we are new. Everyone else recognized us, even if they didn’t know (remember) our names. 

There are a number of reasons for this, probably. We went to coffee hour every week at the Episcopal Church, but we always sat with the same people. And sat with them during liturgy too. In the Orthodox Church, you’re standing and so you can see everyone better. Plus, the Catechumens go up to the front every week, so everyone sees who they are. Also, the whole parish goes to the Agape meal, so it’s a noisy crush, and you can’t really sit with the same people every week. So you meet new people all the time. Not many people go to coffee hour, and if people are sitting behind you at the Episcopal church, they aren’t going to see you. They do have frequent potluck dinners, but even the classes they have before church and on Wednesday evenings have maybe ten people at most, and they tend to be the same people over and over. This makes getting to know a variety of people in the parish difficult.