Thursday, January 7, 2010

Response to Independence of Solitude

I was a little nervous about the response I would get to this. I didn't get much response, but I was grateful to receive this from a woman who has also left the Church. Reprinted with her permission. 

"It's funny how little people understand that haven't left the Mormon church. My husband has never understood my complete and utter inability to casually attend another church. He grew up on a farm in Ohio so they just had some small community church that was more about socializing than religion. Every once in awhile he tries to get me to try out another church and I can't, if I were to truly believe it, not go 500% into it because if you believe it why wouldn't you practice every tiny little suggestion they make? And I don't truly believe in any church so I can't bring myself to go. People don't really realize how all or nothing that church really is. I have problems with Christianity in general in addition to the Mormon church though so I don't know that he and I have any options. Lately he's been trying to get me to go to a Unitarian Universalist church. It's funny that I find myself drawn to other ex mormon's and knowing their experience even if their life has absolutely no other parallel to mine. I don't normally talk about it because so much of my family and friends are still active. Luckily, they're some of the few LDS liberals so they could care less if I practiced Satanism as long as I don't tell them what to believe. Thanks for writing that post."

I asked if she would share her story; every Mormon has a conversion story, and every ex-Mormon has a leaving one.

"The thing I think most convinced me it was not the way to go, true or not, was when I think about some of those people running their own spirit worlds. If I were a god, I would get bored and would do things for no real reason. Maybe a flood on Tuesday or genetically enhance someone's kid so their off the wall all the time just to see what would happen. And, all those warm fuzzies that they get, I would really mess with them there. We had this one lady that every fast and testimony meeting would tell the story of when she was blueberry picking and she had an urge to move her truck. But she ignored it and it persisted, blah, blah, blah, she moved the truck and as soon as she drove away, a tree fell right where she was parked. There are a million of those stories. If I were a god, I would knock the tree over just to mess with her head.

Then there's my laziness. The plan of salvation is asking me very strongly to stop going to church. It's like hotels. You don't want to go to a Motel 6 because then you can't leave anything in your car for fear it will be broken into and it's really noisy. You don't want to go to a 5 star hotel either because then you have to tip everyone that glances at you and you can't wear your pajamas in the hall to go get ice. Give me a nice HoJo with a decent restaurant, an indoor pool and HBO and I'm set. I think me and all my dead pets will have a lovely time in the Terrestrial Kingdom. My mom can come down and visit me if she has time to break away from her other world.

Really though, I have a problem with any church that governs on guilt and fear and excludes nice people for doing non harmful things. I think most churches serve to make half the people feel superior and the other half not good enough. I'd rather teach my kids to accept and like themselves and others the way they are and not according to any religious teachings. The thing that concerns me is when my kids start going to school and other ingorant children start telling them they're going to hell. I know I can't tell them to tell other kids to pray out the stupid. But maybe they just won't care.

This was a lot of rambling. I haven't thought much about it in a long time. Do you ever read
Dooce's blog? She's a renegade Mormon living in Salt Lake City.

Yes. I do read Dooce. :D


  1. I think you're the first person to ever call me a woman. Thanks.

  2. Really, Anonymous? Because I remember when you were in diapers, LOL.