Bucket List

-
This weekend was so brutal that I felt fairly crushed under the weight of it. I can tell when depression is settling in for a visit when I stop feeling that I have anything to look forward to. So, when I was on the plane today, I decided to figure out what I still need to do with my life. I have to admit, I do feel better now.

Here is my Bucket List, which I hope is a work in progress:

  • Maintain my close relationship with my kids. Give them whatever support for their growth and endeavors I can, while being able to be true to myself and what I would like to do with the next stage of my life.
  • Be good to my husband and help us both continue to grow and develop in the ways we seek.
  • Get my PhD in Creative Writing. I want the body of work I will have at the end of it.
  • Go to Alaska and see glaciers and bears. Seriously. I need to see a bear. And hopefully survive it. Go camping in the wilderness there, spend some time.
  • Go white water rafting again
  • Go skiing again
  • Go snow-shoeing and cross country skiing in Minnesota, dontcha know
  • Run a marathon (starting with the half I am running on July 3)
  • Grow a really long, groovy, hippy braid down my back
  • Camp in the desert again without a tent, just under the stars
  • Go visit Old Faithful (if you were a reader of Jenorama, you know why this is funny)
  • Go to Paris, England, Italy, Greece. Be a traveler, not a tourist. No fucking tourist packages. I want a backpack, a camera, a notebook, a pen, and a pack of cigarettes. I'd like to visit Austria. I think I can survive without ever visiting Germany.
  • Learn how to throw pots.
  • Break out my paints and overcome my fear of them.
  • Spend more time with Jes, Elliot, Beth, Mary, Vanessa, and Brad, my St. Louis crew
  • See Ilona again, more often, my Ottawa crew
  • See Carol Ann again, more often, my Seattle crew (Fall 2010 conference FTW!)
  • See Brooks, Kim, Suz, Jeny, and Dara again, more often, my BYU crew
  • See Mike again, more often, my OU crew
  • See Robert, Jason, Steve, Todd, and other Kim again, (East Coast OU crew)
  • Hang out with the Yeagleys
  • Vacation with Kathy Howe every year, my Minnesota crew
  • Have a huge party and invite ALL OF YOU
  • Go back to Athens, Ohio for a visit
  • Go back to New Orleans
  • Go back to Savannah
  • Travel
  • Find meaningful employment. To some extent I have it, but I think I would like to return to teaching. Literature, creative writing.
  • Go ghost hunting again. 
  • Heal myself.
  • Learn to write songs.
  • Watch Erica continue to become herself.
  • Pay off my debt
  • Continue to learn and embrace financial simplicity.
  • Read more “real” books. [Overcome my fear of mind-numbing depression caused by reading them]
  • Read more Faulkner.
  • Do a mandala. [Overcome my fear of them]
  • Go snorkeling again
  • Pet a dolphin
  • Learn more about coyotes and the role they play in my totem
  • Get the Karl tattoo on my shoulder
  • Figure out how to help young women be stronger, kinder to themselves, and more loving to themselves
  • Hang out with my brother, nephews and niece more
  • Go horseback riding
  • Survive my parents’ old age with some dignity and grace.
  • Face my hardships with some degree or decorum, dignity, grace, kindness, and love
  • Get the HELL out of Kirksville, Missouri
  • quit smoking

Comments

  1. missyMarch 1, 2010 at 8:16 PM

    Oooh, you're coming to Seattle?! Of course, if I get a different job, I won't be here in the fall...but if you do and I am, come say hi!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 1, 2010 at 8:24 PM

    Excellent list. (just the act of putting it out there I find quite excellent. I have a fear of doing this. Makes it too real. I don't know. I'm a chicken shit, I guess.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 1, 2010 at 8:51 PM

    I'm so glad we made the list. You can do it all if you want to, it's a choice. I learned that early on. Of course many of my choices have been subdued in recent years, but I still choose the best things I can. You can do it!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. L.G.March 1, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    You movin' north or west?

    Good list.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kathy HoweMarch 2, 2010 at 10:03 AM

    I am SO THERE for that party you are throwing!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. grrlpupMarch 2, 2010 at 11:31 AM

    My Alaska dream destination is Lake Clark National Park. A national park with no trails, just wilderness.
    http://www.nps.gov/lacl/index.htm

    ReplyDelete
  7. IlonaMarch 2, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    Kathy beat me to it. Woo, that party will be FUN! You could throw it after you move to Ottawa. Hahahahahahaha...

    ReplyDelete
  8. L.March 5, 2010 at 5:40 AM

    And Tokyo -- come to Tokyo!

    Not so great to live here, but great place to visit.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Longest Day

-
It is getting harder to update. This is mostly because I am exhausted, and reliving it all seems to just exhaust me a little bit more, but maybe if I can write a bit, I can fill in the gaps later. Or maybe I won't want to. I am torn between feeling a personal responsibility as a writer to document this and a personal responsibility as a person to rest. Yesterday was a long day. Matt and I rode up to Sandy, UT to tour another assisted living facility . It was beautiful. The woman who gave us the tour was sharp, responsible, compassionate, warm, and reassuring. Everyone we met was happy, calm, and like the Hospice people, just the nicest people you'll ever meet. The people who live there seemed engaged and happy, not just staring into space. They were participating in a social gathering that seemed like something that my mom could also participate in. It smelled good throughout-- like potpourri. I loathe the way assisted living facilities smell, but I couldn't get over how ...
Read more

Not a Nike commercial

-
Today, in an attempt to get my head back in the work game, I was sending out emails to my old/new Canadian clients. I have a contract with them right now that I am very excited about. I also have another grant due on Jan. 16, so I need to juggle a few projects. During the course of these emails, one young woman with whom I've had friendly contact before (both through working with her in November and then emailing about a project I did after that trip) was telling me about her  Comps for her PhD program. She is 27-- so young! I have come to realize lately one of the reasons it's so important for me to get a PhD (or maybe an MFA, or both). I have always known about myself that I wanted to get a PhD, even though those nearest and dearest to me who have PhDs (and whom I have watched suffer) think I'm insane. Especially if I insist (and I do) on waiting until the kids are out of the house (and, let's face it, probably out of college too) to get it. I won't make them ...
Read more

Teenage boys are sex maniacs

-
Image
1. Christian: Can you imagine Wicked porn? Me: Er... yes. Can you? Christian: Elphaba, Glinda, and Dr. Dillamond. .. Me: Thank you. Thank you very much. Christian: I'm sorry-- is it bad that I talk about sex so much? Me: Nope. It's normal, healthy, and expected. 2. About five minutes later, Tommy came waltzing prancing into the kitchen. "European or Gay?" Definitely gay.  
Read more