Monday, March 1, 2010

Bucket List

This weekend was so brutal that I felt fairly crushed under the weight of it. I can tell when depression is settling in for a visit when I stop feeling that I have anything to look forward to. So, when I was on the plane today, I decided to figure out what I still need to do with my life. I have to admit, I do feel better now.

Here is my Bucket List, which I hope is a work in progress:

  • Maintain my close relationship with my kids. Give them whatever support for their growth and endeavors I can, while being able to be true to myself and what I would like to do with the next stage of my life.
  • Be good to my husband and help us both continue to grow and develop in the ways we seek.
  • Get my PhD in Creative Writing. I want the body of work I will have at the end of it.
  • Go to Alaska and see glaciers and bears. Seriously. I need to see a bear. And hopefully survive it. Go camping in the wilderness there, spend some time.
  • Go white water rafting again
  • Go skiing again
  • Go snow-shoeing and cross country skiing in Minnesota, dontcha know
  • Run a marathon (starting with the half I am running on July 3)
  • Grow a really long, groovy, hippy braid down my back
  • Camp in the desert again without a tent, just under the stars
  • Go visit Old Faithful (if you were a reader of Jenorama, you know why this is funny)
  • Go to Paris, England, Italy, Greece. Be a traveler, not a tourist. No fucking tourist packages. I want a backpack, a camera, a notebook, a pen, and a pack of cigarettes. I'd like to visit Austria. I think I can survive without ever visiting Germany.
  • Learn how to throw pots.
  • Break out my paints and overcome my fear of them.
  • Spend more time with Jes, Elliot, Beth, Mary, Vanessa, and Brad, my St. Louis crew
  • See Ilona again, more often, my Ottawa crew
  • See Carol Ann again, more often, my Seattle crew (Fall 2010 conference FTW!)
  • See Brooks, Kim, Suz, Jeny, and Dara again, more often, my BYU crew
  • See Mike again, more often, my OU crew
  • See Robert, Jason, Steve, Todd, and other Kim again, (East Coast OU crew)
  • Hang out with the Yeagleys
  • Vacation with Kathy Howe every year, my Minnesota crew
  • Have a huge party and invite ALL OF YOU
  • Go back to Athens, Ohio for a visit
  • Go back to New Orleans
  • Go back to Savannah
  • Travel
  • Find meaningful employment. To some extent I have it, but I think I would like to return to teaching. Literature, creative writing.
  • Go ghost hunting again. 
  • Heal myself.
  • Learn to write songs.
  • Watch Erica continue to become herself.
  • Pay off my debt
  • Continue to learn and embrace financial simplicity.
  • Read more “real” books. [Overcome my fear of mind-numbing depression caused by reading them]
  • Read more Faulkner.
  • Do a mandala. [Overcome my fear of them]
  • Go snorkeling again
  • Pet a dolphin
  • Learn more about coyotes and the role they play in my totem
  • Get the Karl tattoo on my shoulder
  • Figure out how to help young women be stronger, kinder to themselves, and more loving to themselves
  • Hang out with my brother, nephews and niece more
  • Go horseback riding
  • Survive my parents’ old age with some dignity and grace.
  • Face my hardships with some degree or decorum, dignity, grace, kindness, and love
  • Get the HELL out of Kirksville, Missouri
  • quit smoking


  1. Oooh, you're coming to Seattle?! Of course, if I get a different job, I won't be here in the fall...but if you do and I am, come say hi!

  2. Excellent list. (just the act of putting it out there I find quite excellent. I have a fear of doing this. Makes it too real. I don't know. I'm a chicken shit, I guess.)

  3. I'm so glad we made the list. You can do it all if you want to, it's a choice. I learned that early on. Of course many of my choices have been subdued in recent years, but I still choose the best things I can. You can do it!!

  4. You movin' north or west?

    Good list.

  5. I am SO THERE for that party you are throwing!


  6. My Alaska dream destination is Lake Clark National Park. A national park with no trails, just wilderness.

  7. Kathy beat me to it. Woo, that party will be FUN! You could throw it after you move to Ottawa. Hahahahahahaha...

  8. And Tokyo -- come to Tokyo!

    Not so great to live here, but great place to visit.