At the Foot of the Stairs

Yesterday, I handed out Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith to my friend Carol to offer to her book club, which I may join (though, it meets on Tuesdays at 4:00, and technically, I have to work...). And in the absence of that book, and to take a break from the Timothy Ware I am reading, I started reading The Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle, which I picked up by chance a couple of weeks ago. I haven't read L'Engle since I was a child. I love it. I was sitting on the couch reading it this morning, and then, I was pulled, this beautiful sunny day, away to campus with my two younger sons to play hide and seek. I came home to cut Dereck's hair before he goes to hear the democratic guvenetorial candidate speak at 1:00. Sam went to a slumber party on Friday night, and when I went to pick him up for his soccer game, I was struck by the fact that the kid looked like he needed a shower. He at least needed for somebody to wrestle him to the ground with Q-tips. But ...

I probably will not be submitting word counts to NaNoWriMo, because that will not be honest. I will, however, probably post my ongoing work here . (I just posted the first chapter). Let me just explain and confess right here, right now. I am not actually going to be writing a novel. I am taking advantage of the month, the structure, the moral support, and the pressure to jump start my own memoir. But I'd be lying if I said I haven't been working on it already. And I am not going to take time away from it to write a novel right now. So, as you can see, I cannot really go ahead and submit word counts to be a "winner" with NaNoWriMo, but I will be writing and sweating along with the rest of you. But I had to confess from the get go. Comments?

I hadn't even really given this any thought until I was posting on Philip's blog today. But not only am I going to vote on Tuesday (I like to vote early in the day. Late in the day makes me nervous), but I am going to take my children and explain to them what I am doing and why. Here is my question: Should I take them a) before school b) take them out of school to go vote, and then to lunch (more memorable, don't you think?) c) just take them out of school and then take them back d) right after school Please give your vote (and your reasons, if you like) in the comments section. Come on, it'll be fun! You get to vote on something before Tuesday.

There are pictures...

The Dylan concert rocked-- but this news made my night. Sorry, Karl dinals fans... What curse? Boston Red Sox win World Series It's finally happened for the long-lowly Boston Red Sox -- the curse has been broken. And not just broken -- battered, crushed, you name it. The BoSox tonight completed their World Series sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, taking the fourth and deciding game by a score of 3-0. This bodes very well for the elections, methinks. Anything is possible.

An Open Letter... It's been fun. Better than fun. It's been grand. But we've been discovered-- and I can no longer continue the betrayal, the rationalization, the lies... Darling, my body has discovered that I have been cheating with you. It didn't notice at first-- a little drink over dinner in Orlando was perfectly harmless, justifiable. And by the time it noticed that it was drunk tipsy and that I had eaten one and a half desserts, well, its memory was foggy the next day... But as you know, it wasn't harmless. This has been a full-on love affar: cheesy, deep fried appetizers, thick alcoholic wonders called "Chocolate Pie," and then at home: the Ben and Jerry's, the oreos with the orange creme for Halloween, the Butterfingers, the Reeses Cups... But the pinnacle was this weekend when I went to Jaarsma Bakery in Pella, Iowa, and got Dutch letters, sinful pastries filled with creme called "pillows" and a creme tart. My body finally ...

So, I'm sitting at the kitchen table, minding my business, eating my tomato soup, when Dereck checks his phone messages on his way out the door. He comes back in. "Who was that?" I ask him. It was the vet clinic. They have our orange cat. Rewind to last week: Dereck gets a phone call during class. An orange cat has gone into a girl's house. She looked at his tags and called the vet, who give her Dereck's cell number (can you tell we live in a small town?). She calls back. He got out. Fine, he'll just go home. Our neighbors tell us that Boone comes over daily for tummy scratches. Our cats are incurable flirts, charming the whole neighborhood and we joke that without collars, someone might keep them. It is becoming one of those weeks that you have to be particularly careful what you put out into the universe. Karl writes at work that he is leaving his current position to pursue a professional writing career. Boom! He gets a nice offer. This morning, Sam tells m...

Under Arrest, and I Need Bail!!! I just agreed to be arrested on November 17 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I don't know who outed me and gave them my CELL number, Liza, but I agreed to do it, and so now, I need your help. All of your help.I have to raise my bail money before that day to the tune of $1250 (I think, I haven't gotten my packet yet). So, I have to bring with me checks, cash, money orders, or credit card information: names, credit card numbers, types of card, and expiration dates, with pledge amounts. $1250 is the amount of money it takes to do 20 minutes of MDA research. So, if you could please throw a little cash my way for a very good cause, I will be happy to reciprocate (ask Don , ask Yvonne, ask Karl ). Contact me at jcreer@gmail.com if you can help! Thank you!

I just worked out in the hotel gym. Good for me! 45 minutes. That's two workouts this week. Hopefully I'm back on track. We drove 5 hours to Omaha, NE yesterday (and I finally got the speeding ticket I've been karmically begging for) and had a nice dinner with the speakers from Dereck's conference last night at an Italian restaurant walking distance from the hotel. There actually, to my surprise, is more to do and see here than I will have time for today, and tomorrow I have meetings. I have decided, after some consideration, to go to Barnes and Noble and take my notebook and pen. I could go down and explore Old Market, and who knows? It's not even 11:30 a.m. yet-- maybe I actually will get sick of Barnes and Noble (coffee, books, writing, what are the chances?) I want to go to a Christmas shop because Dereck's mom likes all things Christmas (Shhh, Tom). It is so delicious to have a free day-- what to do what to do! I also, while exercising, finished Fo...

Go check out Dereck's blog -- his alma mater, the University of Chicago Divinity School has soundly thumped George W. for sacrilege in calling his appalling foreign policy God's will. It is great. I'm offline til Sundown tomorrow, at which time I'll be posting from Omaha. Good Shabbos.

My Faboulous Jewdaiac Name is Yente Goldberg . Take Become Jewish!!! today! Created with Rum and Monkey 's Name Generator Generator . I think this one is broken. My boredness is You must actually enter some names for the name generator to produce anything ... . Take i'm bored today! Created with Rum and Monkey 's Name Generator Generator . My Your patronus is: is Unicorn . Take Reveal Your Ridden Harry-Pottery Patronus today! Created with Rum and Monkey 's Name Generator Generator . This one just never changes. It must be right. My very British name is Elizabeth Butcher . Take The Very British Name Generator today! Created with Rum and Monkey 's Name Generator Generator . I had to do this one, for obvious reasons (which is funny, considering that I actually do have a Mormon name) My Mormon name is Jannifer Camerlee ! What's" yours?

As you can see from the title, it is another Putrid day. Will we ever have another sunny day this Fall? And to make matters worse, I was just about to leave for lunch, and it started to rain. I can hear it hitting my window, as well as see it. Somebody ordered Krispy Kreme doughnuts, which were made at 3 a.m. and then driven several hours to get here. I ate one. Who am I to refuse a freshly made Krispy Kreme doughnut that somebody took the trouble to drive here? I am in another fine, buoyant mood today, again for reasons I cannot fathom. I do suspect that in light of the recent tragedy, my mood could be related to the simple gratitude I have for being alive, that my children are alive and well. That Dereck is alive and well. There is thunder! That is just wrong. There should not be thunder in autumn. I don't know why. Too cold. And I told Dereck that I would go home at lunch and walk the dog. Well, missy, you will just have to wait. I have challah in the bread machine f...

I just found out that I did know one of the passengers on the plane. I did not recognize her name from the list. One of our friends here had a 40th birthday party last spring which we went to and which was great. Her mother was also there, and she looked like our friend's sister. Dereck and I and one other couple went out afterwards with our friend and her mother and drank and danced and we have pictures of all of this. She was a lovely, vibrant woman, and now I am just stunned and shocked. A little too close to home. And now I need to go and order some flowers.

Warning: If you have small children, do not watch this with them in the room! Seriously. Mist or Ghost? http://www.princeton.edu/~ccaro/mist_or_ghost.html

I just agreed to be arrested on November 17 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I don't know who outed me and gave them my CELL number, Liza, but I agreed to do it, and so now, I need your help. All of your help. I have to raise my bail money before that day to the tune of $1250 (I think, I haven't gotten my packet yet). So, I have to bring with me checks, cash, money orders, or credit card information: names, credit card numbers, types of card, and expiration dates, with pledge amounts. $1250 is the amount of money it takes to do 20 minutes of MDA research. So, if you could please throw a little cash my way for a very good cause, I will be happy to reciprocate (ask Don , ask Yvonne, ask Karl ). Contact me at jcreer@gmail.com if you can help! Thank you!

Today, we received the names of the dead. I recognized some of the names, having given two presentations to this group. They were a lovely, convivial group of people. Oddly, the one person I had the most knowledge of, knowing not only him, but his wife, his daughters, son, daughters and sons-in-law, grand children, is the survivor. He has a large extended family here, and indeed, the news of his survival is nothing short of miraculous. Karl called me last night to tell me that his friend Paul, whom I have met, will be performing the autopsies in Columbia. Too few degrees of separation. If we are all separated by six degrees, does blogland, the internet, somehow abbreviate that to less? How do I feel today? The day is fall at its most sympathetic dead. There is a steady drizzle, there are no longer any leaves on the tree outside my window, only the brown, empty branches and the sky behind it-- not even a gray sky. It is a putrid sky. Despite the drizzle, the putrid sky, the tra...

I have been doing my nightly blogwalk and my almost-eleven-year-old son who talks as fast as I do (and apparently, as we learned during an hour and fifteen minutes of parent teacher conference that my middle child does, too), about Star Wars, when one phrase stood out among all the rest: Fast-acting, skin-stripping acid. It just flew off his tongue, peripetetically, and he didn't even stutter. I had to ask him to repeat it three or four times just so I could write it here. Kid's a freakin' genius.

From the time you hear about the crash at 10:00 p.m. when you go out for what you think is going to be an evening of karaoke until you finally see the clock for the last time, four hours have passed. You had heard sirens earlier and not given it a second thought. This is a corporate plane that flies in daily to your town from a major metropolitan airport. And from what you have heard that night from people who reacted to the crash around you, from the slivers of information anybody has, people affiliated with your university, and possibly or probably people from your school were on that plane. People you do know had been there to meet the plane, but you have not spoken to them, would not speak to them about that horror: waiting for a plane to come in that starts to pull apart in the air, and lands in flames... When you wake up in the morning, you move slowly through the house because even though you do not know who the dead are, you already know that eight of the fifteen passengers ...

So, Do I Look Like Annie Dillard? Holy moly, I think I kind of do. The real question, though, is can I write like Annie Dillard? And that remains to be seen.

Poor Dereck , he has terrible insomnia lately, and I don't expect it will be abated until/unless John Kerry is elected our next President. Seriously, we had a half-kidding conversation last night about moving to Canada. I do not have insomnia. But I feel like I am sleepwalking today. I am so tired. I had a little melodramatic self-indulgence last night that did not last long, but boy, it wiped me out. I don't think Dereck was even aware of it, blissfully grading on the couch while I was having a little meltdown in front of the computer in the kitchen. But there you go. I realized at the time that it was self-indulgent, but sometimes you get to the point where you just need to cry. I am wondering what is in the water or the air lately. A lot of people in blogging land are in flux. I don't know what is up with Yvonne's blog, but it does not work anymore (phew!). Some other people are in flux, and I send out good vibes to you. Karl is taking his new flux with the gleefu...

This morning, I check my voice mail after leaving the cell phone to charge overnight in the mini-van and I have one message. This is the voice message that strikes fear into the hearts of bloggers. "Hi, Jen, I just called to talk to you about your blog." It is from? My mother. I call later, and my dad answers. "Hi, I am just returning Mom's call about my blog." "Yeah, did you get married and not tell us?" All because I used the term sister-in-law. So, I take it back. Partner's sister. No, we did not get married and not tell anybody. But, feel free to send gifts anyway.

Yesterday, Christian had a play date with his best friend in the whole world. And he and her younger brother refused to open their eyes for the shot. Isn't this a great picture? Alina's mother sent it to me later in the day.

Instead of taking a nap this afternoon, I have been changing my blog template. The sunflower one was vibrating too much and I thought I was going to provoke a seizure in somebody. This one is boring, but that is okay right now. Reading and... While I was in Florida, I finished In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson, which was just outstanding. Very very good. Then, I started reading The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris. The Cloister Walk was exactly what I needed, and more than I expected. I ate it. So, now I am reading Dakota: A Spiritual Geography . And it is not really what I was hoping for-- it is truly about the Dakotas, and it is good, but it is not really what I need to be reading right now, so I will order Amazing Grace . Writing I have written more than 26,000 words on my memoir. This is one of the main reasons I haven't blogged this week like I usually do. And this week came to the sobering conclusion that in order really to write it as it should be written, ...

I am trying so hard to keep it together right now and not lose my cool. I bought a USB jumpdrive awhile back, and so I go to use it today, and of course, my computer doesn't detect it. Neither does my other computer. Arrgh. So. This morning at 9:00 a.m., I hear a knock on the bedroom door. Christian. It must be. "Yeah?" I call, surprised that he has not also just barged in, so maybe it is Sam. "Is the coffee on?" I hear Karl say. Goodness me! "Hang on," I croak, and get out of bed and pull clothes on and go out to find him sitting on the couch. My children just don't get surprised by strangers in the house, I guess, not that Karl is a stranger to them, having spent the day at Six Flags with him (which I had forgotten, but not they). I knew Karl was in town, mind you, so it was not a complete surprise, but it was a funny and good one. We saw him the other night at TJ the professional frisbee player's 50th birthday party, and Robin...

My sister-in-law Partner's Sister Amy is not only a gifted writer, but man, her photography... She has given us the privilege and gift of sharing them with us on her blog . They are amazing. If you love photography, what are you still doing here? Even if you don't, wow. Why are you still here?

A cool electoral-poll site. I'm back. I am coughing. I feel like I have been hit by a mack truck. It was a good trip, though. More later.

Yesterday, I drove to Kansas City and got on a plane and flew toFlorida. Heh, I know, I know you already knew that. And my internet wouldn't work earlier. Well, I didn't try the internet last night. I called my Nebraskafriend so we could have our dinner to talk about writing projects (shehas many) and we ended up eating in the hotel restaurant. Let me back up. Florida is hot. And we got off the plane and walked and walked and then waited andwaited for the Enterprise bus to come and take us to the Enterprise Office. There were other buses parked in our bus's spot. Jen: "Everytime I look up and see that bus, it Hertz." Jane: "Oh, that is terrible!" I see another bus go by. "I thought I was being Thrifty." Jane: "Just not very Enterprising." Sure fired way to get a bus to come is to light up a smoke, so after 20 minutes, I did, and sure enough, there it was. Of course, it didn't stop for us, so we had to pick up bags and run over to ...

Jason Sister sent me the book of poems. I remembered Jason Sister this morning as I was crossing Baltimore and driving down Normal toward Truman (which won't make sense to readers who don't live here, but will make sense to Jason Sister). Thank you, Jason. The poems are great. And you still need to do the NaNoWriMo.com and get on with your life.

I just sent Dereck off to Karaoke alone. On Thursday nights, Karaoke is held in a bar called Toons. There are no comfortable seats. Only stools that I always feel like I am falling off. The carpet is always sticky, and when you go to the bathroom, you have to a) hope the toilet is not broken and b) hold the door shut the entire time. The last time I was in the bathroom, a very large woman with a drink in her hand was saying to her reflection and her friends, "I think I'm pregnant." A closer look revealed that she was, in fact, pregnant. It is raining. I have to finish laundry for my trip, so I think I'll just stay home. I removed some posts earlier today, but it is still on my mind. It's hard not to let your mind reach for the ache, the toothe that is missing. If only because it is a different sensation. In situations like this, it is hard to laugh normally with friends, indeed, it is hard even to feel worthy of friends, even though I am very lucky. I still ...

Today, I took a little quiz , thanks to Heith . I am not looking for a new hometown, thanks to circumstances beyond my control, but feeling pretty rootless, I thought I would take the quiz and find out what places are ideally suited to me. Because hopefully I will get to retire one day. Here are my top ten (of 24) results: Las Cruces, New Mexico Champaign-Urbana, Illinois Salem, Oregon Eugene, Oregon Sheboygan, Wisconsin Shreveport-Bossier City, Louisiana Portland, Oregon Corvallis, Oregon Little Rock, Arkansas Albuquerque, New Mexico Now, I will have to get Dereck to take the quiz, just for grins.

Have you ever had one of those days in which you did not really even know what day it was? It's been a rough patch. 'Nuff said. So, anyway, what do writers do when the going gets rough? They get writing. Liza is persistently, to my great honor, on my butt to write. She knows I have a book to write. And I have been neglecting it. Not to say that the blog is not worthwhile, but I do tend to favor it because I get so much immediate gratification and feedback. So, today, being greatly troubled of mind, I lost myself in my book and delivered to her door, which I do not think she even knows yet, 30 pages of manuscript. No, I did not write all of it today. Some of what the book requires is rigorous editing. And I have not wanted to wade in and do it. So, remniscent of Don sticking his hand in his sewer line this weekend, I waded into it. Orson Scott Card and other writers have said that it is important, when writing, to hold two opposite thoughts equally in your mind: That ...

from Keri... Parents or someday parents - if you could ensure one single personality trait in your children, what would you want it to be? Integrity. If you could have a cup of coffee with any one person in history, who would it be and why? Oh, wow. I'm not telling, because it's too personal. Name the last CD you purchased. (I'm curious and want to expand my music collection...) I got some Gaelic music yesterday, but haven't heard it yet. I bought the soundtrack to Garden State last week, and I lurve it. Who put the bomp in the bomp-da-bomp-da-bomp? Who put the wham in the whama-lama-ding-dong? Um...who cares? If you could have been any sports figure from history, who would you want to have been? Cathy Rigby because she also got to be Peter Pan and she got to guest star on the Bionic Woman . If you could have been a jury member in any court case in history, which trial would you choose? The Menendez Brothers , because it's the first and only court case I...

Don't laugh, but after reading for a couple of hours (some of that time spent in the bath with a mudpack on face, and deep conditioner on over-processed hair) (and after having slept in late, after waking early to find Dereck's half o the bed empty, and him in bathrobe, reading the paper on the couch, his having been up for an hour, and my enticing him back to bed with promises that neither of us indulged in, both falling back to sleep), I actually got a cleaning bug, and started cleaning. I got the laundry started, folded clothes from the basement, brought them upstairs, put them away, and in the little boys' room, transferred summer clothes to the top shelf, brought down winter clothes from the top shelf, having Christian run things to the trash, to the dirty clothes. He is not a happy little man with me because I cut off his movie-watching, telling him he had to do other things with his day. I told him I loved him, and he started declaring his hatred to me, so I told h...

a) no, not holiday, it's for work. so sad, really, someone else is paying for it. b) oh, that i had that kind of power (to send out least favourite person for coffee or for creamer). c) thank you, we are planning to indeed. This will make your head roll: we have three national and two state all due nov. 22. and the guidelines won't be available til oct. 11. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha sorry, no, i'm okay, really.

When you send off your coupon to Uncle Milt's for free ants, read the fine print , and go ahead and splurge. Pay the $.50 for information on how to keep your ants alive. But just in case you don't rea d the fine print , if you are curious about how long ants can survive without food and water, the answer is: about three weeks.

During the course of the day and many emails, it has been pointed out to me (by Liza) that cleaning, painting, and taking over the studio attached to my house might be a lot cheaper than grad school, and might actually get my butt writing. Virginia Woolf says that it is essential for writers to have a space, a room, of their own in order to be able to write. Arguably, I have an office, but in it, I am expected to work. I have two computers at home (not counting my laptop, which never gets used unless I travel). One was in the studio, but nobody ever went out there to use it. So, we moved it into the kitchen, and now everybody uses it. I use it, Dereck uses it, Christian uses it. Sam prefers the one in our bedroom (our= Dereck's and mine) because it is faster for Age of Empires. Tommy hasn't used the computer for awhile-- can you see why? It's always occupied. And when we aren't using it, Boone, the world's cutest orange cat, is sitting in the chair in front o...

Is to tell me all of the reasons why I should not go into significant debt to commute an hour and a half one way for the next four to five years to get a PhD in creative writing. Even though, every year, I want to. Come on, let's talk sense into Jen now.

This morning, I went to fill up my usual cup of work coffee (distinguishable from home coffee because I don’t make it, it is made with Folgers, and it is one of the only times I use the powdered non-dairy creamer). Poured the coffee, and flipped up the little metal latch for the nondairy creamer and shook over my coffee. I do this every morning. Well. I guess there are limits, even with nondairy creamer. No biggie. I 'll just get some more out of the cabinet. All gone! And it is raining outside. Or I’d go to the grocery store for more out of my own pocket , I swear. Or better yet, if I am going to brave the rain, I should just go to the coffeeshop for real coffee, a double cappucino, or a large mocha. But I am not going to brave the rain. Yet. This morning I walked the dog in the rain. That was fun enough. We are all sitting here in the rain, in our Friday jeans, waiting for federal guidelines to be released. Until then, we are in a holding pattern. Waiting for Godot. Compared to ...