Mothering Christian

On the way to summer school, the first day:



Christian: "I'm so excited, I could just cry."



Me (naive): "Oh, good!"



Christian: "I'm not excited. I'm housebroken!"



Christian: "What does housebroken mean?"



Me (covering mouth): "It means you know to go outside to go to the bathroom if you are a dog. You are not housebroken, honey, you are heartbroken."



In The School:



Christian: "I'm so embarrassed."



Christian: "What does embarrassed mean?"



Me: "It means you feel funny."



Christian: "I'm so embarrassed."



At Baseball:



Christian: "We always win! I hate winning! Why do we always have to win!"



Christian (at homeplate): "Do you want me to get a homerun, Mommy?"



Me: "Sure."



Christian: "Well, I'm not going to!"



Christian (at homeplate again): "Do you want me to get a homerun, Mommy?"



Me: "I just want you to have fun, honey."



Christian: "Well, I'm not having fun!"



At Bath Time:



Christian: "Can I go pee, Mommy?"



Me: "Yes."



Christian: "Tommy says he will spank me if I go pee."



Me: "Are you going to go in the bathtub?"



Christian: "No, the potty."



Me: "Go head."



Tommy: "I'm going to spank you Christian!"



Me: "No you are not."



Christian stands in front of the potty and, yes, still manages to pee on my foot.