Thursday, February 4, 2010

5 Tips for Avoiding a Zombie Attack

  1. When you are approaching the room that contains the treasure, quickly call a friend* on your cell phone**. A pretend phone call could work in a pinch, but the real thing lends more authenticity in case the zombie has super-sonic hearing. 
  2. The zombie will be able to hear your friend's voice,*** which adds 50 health points and an energy pack.
  3. Then, the zombie lurking behind the door will avoid attacking you because zombies hate witnesses. 
  4. You can then retrieve your treasure and leave unscathed, all while holding your phone to your shoulder with your chin****. 
  5. It is best to have both hands free. Just in case you have to run.*****

You're welcome.******

* Works best if you have friends. 
**Works best if you have a cell phone.
***Works best if you call someone who will actually answer their phone. Choose wisely. 
***Works best if you have a chin. And a shoulder. 
*****Or friend hangs up. 
******Zombie is a metaphor.

1 comment:

  1. in the event of the zombie apocalypse, I just don't think this is going to work, assuming zombie is a metaphor for zombie.