Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I am sad. Actually, sad doesn't really approach it. I have cried more in the past six weeks than I have in a long, long time.

But I have decided that it's okay to admit this, and probably detrimental not to.

I am sad, disappointed to my core, I feel betrayed, and I am really starting to question my judgment. Because if you looked closely at my life-- or if I let you-- you would probably agree that my judgment absolutely sucks.

Wow.

I have wasted so much time. So much.

I am 40 now. I don't really have the energy or elasticity to bounce back from things like this anymore. I can see cracks in the rubberband, little cracks that no amount of care or lubrication can repair. If I am asked to stretch, if I am asked to reach around or hold anything, I am going to break.

I am not completely sure what that break looks like, but I am pretty sure it feels like this.

4 comments:

  1. I'm not going to give you a pep talk, because I have no idea what happened to put you in such a funk.

    Know, however, that your voice has been heard and I (as well as a lot of people) are hear for you.

    Good luck.

    Much love.
    Missy

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  2. (Gah...I don't know why I can't let it go. HERE for you, not hear.)

    Hugs!!!

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  3. What in the bloody hell is going on, girl?

    I have an open ear for you if you need someone to talk to!

    SMOOSH

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  4. I am impressed that nobody made a reach-around joke.

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