At the Foot of the Stairs

Just got back from St. Louis and just ordered pizza and put my feet up.  Dereck is playing softball, but I couldn't get back into the car. Erin (our favorite sitter) is coming at 9:15, and I'm supposed to go watch the DNC at the DuKum, but I don't know if I'm up for it. I want to write something with the poetry and elegance of Karl's blog, but I am always too damn beat.  Just the facts, ma'am. We drove down to St. Louis last night and stayed in the Hilton by the airport.  V. swanky.  The hot tub was lukewarm and ineffectual, but still v. swanky.  We swam and "soaked" and then the kids watched a dvd on my laptop (woo hoo, it worked!) and then we did more of the same this morning, and I gave my mom a deep tissue massage to help her gear up for the flight.  She has spinal stenosis, which= pain for the rest of her life.  She takes morphine for it, but worries about her stomach, and would like to get off it. Sam and I walked and ran respectively on the...

Yesterday was a day of firsts for me. I pulled Goldie's first tick off her (though I have many experiences with ticks in general, as well as ticks on dogs). I gave my first enema, to a poor wee three-year-old child (and then gave my second). And I had another first, which I would prefer not to discuss here, but which was more unpleasant than the enema... But somehow today we all woke up and have survived another day.  Most of us anyway. I had a wide realm of strange and disturbing dreams last night: I was pregnant and hadn't yet gone to have a test.  Yikes and egads!  And I had a plethora of strange strange dreams last night in general, including that I had spilled chocolate syrup in the work fridge  (because I had placed two iced mochas in the door  for a second, having made one for someone else, and there was a minor spill that somehow escalated, as dreams do) and I came by at night for something and found them (people at work I suppose) all having dismantled ...

I know I am supposed to like Mozilla, and it's the P.C. (ha, get the double entendre?) thing du jour to do, but I  (insert adverb here)  hate it. It doesn't work. It sucks. I have this week off work, but I still got sucked in for two hours today when I went to take the tapes in to be transcribed.  I am loving having this time off though. Worked out with CH today, and then we had the R clan over for a very lovely evening.  It was just great, m'dear.  Thank you.  S, who is 7, made a really really good cake, and I'm going to have one cranky six year old on my hands tomorrow morning if I don't stop eating it...

Hey Alan , I've been researching this whole laptop thing, because I like to do that kind of stuff. There are actually a lot of cheap deals out there-- you can get laptops on E-bay , of course, and some of them you can actually finance for low monthly payments. I saw some on E-bay for $99.  The link to the one on here is for $89.  It is not going to let you do much besides word process, but still... I am sure you have already done this research, but just in case...

Thursday: Ran errands all morning, took Christian to work with me. Took care of last minute details, picked up audio equipment, data projector, extension chord. Went to Wal-mart and stocked up on food for the kids. Showered, packed, wrote a note to the sitter. Departure time: 3:20 p.m. Dinner reservations scheduled for: 7:30 p.m . in St. Louis. Jen drove. The Radisson Hotel Clayton We were at the hotel by 6:30 p.m., checked in, got to our room, (which has been upgraded, but I'm pretty sure that they tell everyone that). changed clothes, and met folks in the hotel lobby for dinner at 7:10. The Harvest We decided, since we had seven people, to take one car: mine. We got a little lost, but ultimately found our way to the restaurant. Let me tell you. It was lovely. It was darkened, lots of elegantly set tables, very nice atmosphere. Appetizer: goat cheese tart. Gin and tonic with Hendricks gin. Dinner: filet mignon, rare, with sides of braised vege...

You'll have to scroll down for my latest post.  I have no idea how they got out of order, but they did, and I don't know how to fix it.   Oh my headachness and weariness.   I went in for a conference call today, and then took the rest of the day and my blinding headache home for my furlough day-- more meetings tomorrow, and last minute preparations for St. Louis.  I need to make dinner reservations, etc. etc. must do that this afternoon.   Actually, I can do that while I type.  I am talented that way.   So, I found out that the speaker that I scheduled is coming during the week that I schedule my vacation also .  I had the wrong date stuck in my head.  So, I had to reschedule our cabin in Minnesota, but fortunately, they got us in the week before in the very same cabin .  So, things just worked out.   What else?  Tonight is Karoaoke at the Dukum, Alan -- come to that rather than Thursday night at Toons (blech!).  I am...

FIRSTS First job: Babysitting, then Rax restaurant. First screen name: Jench First self-purchased CD: I have no idea. First piercing/tattoo: ears pierced age 11 in Denver; second piercing age 15 in Chicago/ tattoo of a voodoo symbol to protect my children and my house from evil, on my tenth wedding anniversary, in the middle of my divorce. First true love: Ummm... Steve Richter, or Mark Wise, who broke my heart. First enemy: Gads.  I don't know the first one.  I just keep track of the current ones. LASTS Last big car ride: probably to Lake of the Ozarks to camp. Last kiss:   Dereck, a few seconds ago. Last library book checked out:   A Mary Stewart King Arthur book that I lost and have since found, but not returned yet.  Checked it out last fall. Last movie seen:   The Station Agent, and it was freaking awesome. Nope, wait, The Shape of Things on HBO, and it was creepy. Last beverage drank: Two schmirnoff ices at karaoke, and some water because it...

Yesterday morning at our backyard breakfast table, we laid out a veritable palette of possibilities:  go down to Columbia for a wire dog cage and to look at fax machines?  Go to Beach Ottumwa?  Go to a matinee?  Go to Macon for meat?  Go swim at the lake?   This morning there didn't seem to be as many possibilities, not having tomorrow to recover from them.  In fact, today seemed a perfect day to recover from yesterday.   I have indulged, today, in lying down about three times.  The last time is the only time I actually slept though, and woke to the sound of my cell phone buzzing next to the bed.  I thought it was some kind of alarm and Monday morning and the kids were going to be back soon and I was going to have to start getting ready for work, and I thought all of this in my groggy brain in a short enough time to realize it was the phone and see who was calling and decide to answer.   This morning, phone rang early (but not like ...

Wow, there are so many more posting options today!!! I can do this. And I can do this. I think I do like the green. We'll see how it shows up. Sorry, didn't know that was going to happen, and I got all distracted. D is on the phone with his mum who just had knee replacement surgery. My mother has had two, so I know how great she is going to feel in a few weeks. She is in physical therapy right now, and hearing about what she is doing is similar to hearing about Linda. Woke up today and then ate challah and tapenade with coffee outside with D and the puppy, then met CH at the gym. I have been working out my arms, because there is going to be a wedding in September, don'tcha know, and I want my arms to look a little better for my dress. I am hoping to go dress-shopping on Tuesday... We are staying at the chesire lodge , and have selected the Bordello fantasy suite, which comes with a bottle of champagne, has its own jacuzzi, and a complimentary night at the hotel...

Me: (Peering over counter, on tiptoes, to look at the printer)Are you out of paper, you little son-of-a-gun??? Her: (sitting by the phones) You know, they have medication for that now, Jen. Me: I know. I'm actually ON it. Her: Well (flipping newspaper page), I don't think it's working today.

I went through the personality test very quickly this time and just chose my preferences based sheerly on my guts and instincts and didn't think about it so much. I like this assessment much better. And I think it is probably more accurate. Wackiness: 76/100 Rationality: 60/100 Constructiveness: 80/100 Leadership: 80/100 You are a WRCL--Wacky Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you a golden god. People gravitate to you, and you make them feel good. You are smart, charismatic, and interesting. You may be too sensitive to others reactions, especially criticism. Your self-opinion and mood depends greatly on those around you. You think fast and have a smart mouth, is a hoot to your friends and razorwire to your enemies. You hold a grudge like a brass ring. You crackle. Although you have a leader's personality, you often choose not to lead, as leaders stray too far from their audience. You probably weren't very popular in high school--the joke's on them! You may be a...

a cell phone with a camera. a palm pilot. a DVD player for the car. A five disc changer for the car (mine has one only, sadly, privileged thing that I am...). A fax machine! Fax machines are cool. A pager. Doctors have them. Why oh why can't I? A new laptop. Because the old one is just acting funny. And the dvd player doesn't work. A cappucino machine. An MP3 Player. I am such a soccer mom yuppy wanna be. But last night I went out to dinner with a tie-dye bandana wrapped around my head. That is my favorite look for myself, I must admit. I am a real hippy wanna-be. And I cannot express how happy I am that my hair is growing out. It's so humid that it's actually pretty wavy and has a lot of body lately. For those of you (Pie and Michelle) who have only just met me, you must think I'm on crack with my hair as short as it is, so you will have to trust me now, believe me later, that my hair was so short last August that this is a SIGNIFICANT difference in the le...

I am drinking lots of water today too and stayed up until about 1:30 a.m.(which is not uncommon for me)-- but I was drinking beer and margaritas at karaoke and smoking entirely too much... So, today I am a bit draggy as well. But that did not stop me from going to the gym at 5:00... working late did... I actually had a good time at karaoke last night, which is a bit unusual for me, as I tend to have lingering feelings of guilt based on the divorce, associated with being at the Dukum Inn. It's something I work on, like feeling guilty about smoking... And today as I drove him, feeling pleasantly satisfied that a project is finished (at least the writing part of it), I realized that I probably feel vaguely guilty when I go out when I have unfinished work at work-- because part of me feels that as a salaried person, there is no excuse for not having finished it... I know. It's sick. Even though it was so dreadfully hot, we were using coasters as fans, the air-conditioned bar was...

Overheard... Him: "Do you need anything else?" Her: "Well, we could really use that data. But this (holds letter up) is the most important thing because you're the PI (Project Investigator)." Him: "Really? I am? I didn't know that." Her: "It was in the letter you signed." Him: "Yeah, thanks." Her: "Don't worry. You'll do a great job. We're all very excited about this. It was nice to meet you. I mean, I don't know you, but I see you at baseball games." Her: "Well, that's the most important thing."

After re-reading my quiz results and some honest self-reflection, I won't quarrel with them. And Anonymous, I won't quarrel with them as regards to you, either, though I don't think that you are as deliberately in control of your face to the world as I am. I am older and I have a bit more self-confidence than you, I think.

I am very extremely busy right now waiting for a phone call. In a few minutes, I'll be very extremely busy sending a fax, and soon to follow, I will be very extremely busy getting heatstroke at a baseball game.

I stole this from Pie , of course, who got it from Jewdez and Mikey. But I'm going to make things real simple and just give you the link . I thought this test was incredibly accurate when I saw Pie's score. I am not really sure what to make of mine. Wackiness: 40/100 Rationality: 50/100 Constructiveness: 50/100 Leadership: 40/100 You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting. Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable. You are not to be messed with. You ma...

Questions about Spiderman (brought to you by Sarahspace ) 1. Are Spiderman’s superpowers a metaphor for his penis? Is it one of those ‘I am going to fight crime with my enormous cock’ type things? Yes, of course. And, ironically, it is only when he surrenders his Spidey powers (the fact that he is losing his powers, his virility, is mental, not physical, just as many penile problems are mental, not physical) that he becomes more able to love Mary Jane. Just like it is for most men: when you stop thinking with your penis, you are a pretty decent human being. It is then, however, that we find you boring. (Kidding, I swear to you, I was kidding). However, in true comic book fashion, he can't actually have the girl without the superpowers (much like in Superman 2, regardless of that scene in the cave in which they consummated their loooove). 2. I completely believe that it is possible to bitten by a radioactive spider and get turned into a Spiderman, but this Dr. Oct thing seems ...

Here's where I get the cool templates for blogs. As fun as Totally Spies was, it was even freaking me out. I think I need a cooler (and by cooler, I mean cooler in color, blue is a cooler as in colder, less dynamic, color) template. Living with my personality is dramatic enough without having a dramatic template to go with it... I think it's easier on the eyes too. :)

I called the bank yesterday to find out how much of a loan I qualify for so I can trade in my minivan. And I called and made an appointment to have it detailed on Monday. Today we drove around to used car lots: There is a dearth of minivans in this town right now. Sigh. But I have to have the door fixed. It OPENED when I was a block away from home driving with the kids today. That is IT. They will be gone this week (well, sort of, being babysat at my house...) and maybe I can replace it before they have to be in it again. We took Dereck's car to go lookin' today. I'm exhausted, absolutely just want to crawl into bed. I had a nap before dinner, and it was full of restless anxiety dreams. I have consulted with several people though, and it turns out that I am not on crack. And the women I know have all appreciated the beauty of my gesture. Don , even you would appreciate it. This morning the kids had a baseball game at 9:00 a.m., and that means we had to be there....

So, on top of my crappy day, I also arrived an hour and 45 minutes early for baseball, so we came home for dinner. Dereck is going to go play Nintendo with the boyz tonight, which I find unendingly amusing-- see where your PhD gets you? They are really turning out to be a nice group: frisbee, softball, Nintendo-- they are a fun group. So, my neighbor, who is intricately familiar with the players in my bad day called to see if I am interested in Margaritas tonight. You betcha, as they say up in Minnesota. She is coming over, and we're going to get a girly flick, but I anticipate a night on the porch spent talking, drinking, and smoking. Then possibly Torah study tomorrow-- have to call Barbara about that. I got feedback tonight from the chick I did consulting for this week: She said, "You were a substantial help," among other things. This is very nice, takes the raw edges off the day. I felt like I was on top of my game while I was doing it, so it was, knock on wood,...

For some reason, blogger comments are not showing up, so we're back to Halo.

I have to go work out in ten minutes, and I hope that helps. I have yet to make challah. Caleb is still here from the slumber party and making Gatorade demands on me, while I'm blogging. Water is in the tap-- try it. Shabbat just always seems kind of haphazard and slapped together. Freaking baseball-- we have a practice and a game today. There are other things, other sources of frustration which I will not address here, but boy, let's just say that I am feeling very much today like the Universe is conspiring to make people as deliberately unpleasant to me as possible, beginning with those phone calls. Other people strike me as deliberately troublesome-- I will have to have some emails in private with people and poll them for their opinions on some things, just to find out whether I am on crack or not-- and I was pulling out of our alley today and stopped to let a little chicky in a white convertible pass, and she did not take her mean, beady eyes off me, for having the audac...

Dereck had a late softball game tonight, so I kept the kids home. Sam has a friend sleeping over, and there was much excitement! I drove all four kids to Wal-Mart to get snacks and a memory card for the Game Cube or X Box or whatever the heck we have. I called our sitter Erin on my way and asked if she'd like to come over so I could color her hair. Truly, I have missed my career calling as a beautician. Erin agreed to come, so I bought some brown color to bring her back to her natural color (two inches of growth with orangish streaks-- you can see why I was itching to do this) and then put on the cap and lightened it with highlights. The cap took a long long time as her hair is long and she has a lot of it. I put kids to bed in between colorings, and we watched Cheaper by the Dozen. I let the older boys stay up. At midnight, the phone rings twice, and I figure it's Dereck calling, and he'll soon try my cell phone, when Sam comes out of the TV room saying, "Here...

Tommy's fortune cookie tonight read: "You have a conscience; that is the gift of G-d."

Liza is in Minnesota this week. I just told her that Dereck and I booked a cabin at Bear Track which is about an eleven hour drive from here, in Minnesota. Liza tells me the mosquito is the state bird. Can't hardly wait. We will check in for a week in August. We will have a cabin with no electricity, no running water, and no indoor plumbing (but we will have an outhouse) which is what we wanted, noting that the notion of going to a cabin with air conditioning and direct TV is ridiculous and hardly camping at all. This will be camping. There is also a Finnish sauna. She (the owner) says our dog will love it (the campsite, not the sauna). We are very excited and can't wait! It is also very cheap, with one night free because we're staying for four nights mid-week. Dereck asked me if I planned to get a lot of writing done. Yes. That is the point of a cabin with butane lamps. But yes, this is a true writing retreat (but I get to have sex too). Tonight I worked on my co...

Tonight I was sitting at karaoke, once again flipping through a collection of songs I don't know, and I just wasn't feeling it. So, half-way through my drink, I just handed it to Dereck and said, "I'm going home." In a bit of a funk, and not just because of my friend with breast cancer. I just haven't had any time in my house lately. I was out of town, then out of town more, right back into the work week, baseball, softball, neighborhood meetings, karaoke, then more out of town camping, then back to work, then wading pool, neighborhood chatting, then putting kids to bed, then back at karaoke. And I just didn't want to be there. So, now I am in my messy house (which my awesome babysitter Erin, sensing my overwhelmed-ness has vowed to clean with the kids tomorrow) and I feel better, but not better . There is nothing wrong. I'm just feeling a little maligned tonight. Just need some sittin' time. I put a bunch of beautiful new towels into my shop...

When you find out that someone you love has breast cancer.

Well. Camping was great! I always begin a vacation with a vague sense of anxiety, i.e. that I should be working or at least on call, or that I should be doing something besides the fun thing I am doing. I am not sure exactly where it comes from. It could be leftover from the marriage. The first time D and I went camping together three summers ago, nobody knew where we were that weekend, and I was a nervous wreck because I had dared to go out of town without my ex-husband's permission. I enjoyed myself, but I still remember that Dereck had to talk me down from the anxiety and reassure me that I was an adult in my thirties and that I was allowed to do this, that I would not lose custody of my kids, that I didn't have to tell M where I was going, only where the kids were going when I took them. Those were days pre-cell phone for me. Honestly, the cell phone is expensive, but it saves me a lot in anxiety attacks. We bought car chargers for them this weekend, and I inquired a...

Office Space Wars I have to check the link and make sure it works, but this is very very funny, especially if you have seen Office Space too many times, as we obviously have, Pie obviously has, and the makers of this film really really have. Liza and I went to the gym today and worked out for, count 'em, eighty minutes. That's right. She looked at me afterwards and laughed and said, "You're soaking wet." And so the torrential rains outside (oh thank you, no camping) didn't bother me too much. I went and got new running shoes in a 9 1/2 today because the other ones where pinching me and giving me blisters. My shoes are so big that they make my calves look really skinny. Or maybe the exercise does that. I burned off almost 1000 calories today, and had salad for lunch and forgot breakfast, so guess who gets to have dessert with her dinner? I called the children today and told them the dog's name was Goldie, and they were very happy. Tommy wanted to tal...

I've been up for 40 minutes, but she finally made outside, after not going since 8 pm! So, lots of praise. And she clearly wants to play. So, we simply moved her crate outside to the studio. It is not wakey time for humans, despite this simple post to the contrary. I could never stand to listen to my children cry it out, but strangely with Goldie, it doesn't really rattle me. It seems much more important to establish straight out what the rules are and who the bosses are.

Well, maybe we're NOT going camping... Friday 7/2 Get Details Hourly Weather | Get Audio Couple of showers, t-storms High 81° F Friday Night 7/2 Get Details Hourly Weather | AccuPOP™ Showers and t-storms possible Low 68° F Saturday 7/3 Get Details Hourly Weather | Get Audio Showers and t-storms possible High 80° F Saturday Night 7/3 Get Details Hourly Weather | AccuPOP™ Mostly cloudy

Went to two softball games, and I felt bad that I missed key plays. But I was talking . I suppose that since I pause to pay attention to my children when they are up to bat, the least I can do is pay attention when Dereck is up to bat. Tonight I had Goldie Savannah with me and I was talking to Carol and Devon (who had Baby Henry, who was bound and determined to play in the parking lot ) about dogs, mothering, what else is there really? Then we went and picked up a crate for Goldie at Christine's and put newspaper and toys in it and let her bark as we left for dinner at Ryan's with the team. That was very nice, but I was beat afterwards, so I came home. I let Goldie out, and she had either wet or drooled just a bit, so I threw out the newspaper, and took her out to the studio for dinner. Then a walk. Does she take care of bathroom needs? No. But she did have an awesome time. So many things to sniff! Having a puppy makes me revisit the world much as my children do, so s...

This post has been edited. Look for the edits in italics. Her name is Goldie Savannah. Thank you for all of your name suggestions. I was really really pulled by Sadie and Sahara. But we have special memories of Savannah from our trip, and so that is what I chose (Dereck not caring). I didn't see the Charlie comment until afterwards. Dereck pointed out that the kids will hate it. They did hate it. And it turns out that Tommy wrote a book at school today about his dog Goldie... So what is a mother to do? They have been calling her Goldie all day. So, we decided to give her a middle name. But I have a sneaky feeling the kids are not going to be cleaning up her poop for the next several weeks, so her name is Savannah. (I've been hoisted on my own petard)

We still don't have a name because I haven't been home for us to talk about it. I don't know whether Dereck has any inclinations or not, but right now I'm torn between Sadie and Savannah. I still like Ginger and Goldie too. Chardonnay is a really cool idea! I think Dereck may really like that too. We will try a few out on her. I just called her Gracie last night in the car without even realizing what I was doing, so maybe that is a sign. So many good names, and only one wee little dog! I've been reading about crate training, and my friend Christine is letting us borrow her crate (her golden retriever is a grownup now). She did do really well for her bath, furthering my suspicions that she came from a breeder. Her nails have also been clipped. We are already gently letting her know what is okay and not okay to chew on/have in her mouth. We need to get up at night and let her out. I didn't know that last night, so she soiled her carrier, and I felt drea...